The past couple of weeks, I’ve grown increasingly preoccupied. A lot is going on in our little community of four sisters, and we’re preparing for many upcoming events at our Toronto Pauline Book & Media Centre. These are just a few:
- Our one-day storewide sale tomorrow which is an amazing opportunity to encourage people to take advantage of the discount to read the books and see the films that can really touch their hearts
- Our Faith and Fiction Book Club is just about ready to start up again, after a good deal of research and dialogue on which titles to cover this fall.
- I’m preparing to lead a new mini-course on “Discerning with St. Paul” starting in October.
- Our Faith and Film Nights start up again this Monday night, with the film, Last Holiday.
- I’m finishing the manuscript of my book, and while the editing required is not too heavy, it’s always difficult to complete a writing project, especially when so many other good things are going on.
And there’s more…but you get the idea.
As I was making my Eucharistic hour of adoration today, and praying with Romans 8 (about the Spirit praying in us), I realized that I’ve not given much room to the Spirit in my heart lately. I’ve been so focused on these wonderful opportunities to communicate Christ through our mission, that I’ve become forgetful of taking the time to truly communicate with the people I’m living and working with. Even my prayer has begun to take on a bit of a “to do list”–“Lord, help me to do this and this and to finish that….”
This is not the first time I’ve gotten so lost in what I’m doing that I forget the “how” and the “why.” I wonder if the Lord smiles each time I realize what I’m doing, or if he sighs in relief. Today, when I realized what I’d done yet again, I also felt the pierce of regret–how much I’ve missed that time connecting with Jesus–really listening to him and simply basking in his loving presence.
Without this relational core of my life, the “events” that I’ve been helping with lose their energy…and so do I. Today, in the midst of the busyness, I’ll take the time to really connect to the people working with me. And I’ll take some quiet moments to refocus on Christ during the day, and allow his energy and joy to flow through me, so that once again Christ is at the centre of my efforts to communicate him!