Top Communication Tips from the Saints!

Top Communication Tips from the Saints!

Have you ever had something hard to say to someone, and had trouble figuring out how to say it?

There are saints for that! Yes, we can find inspiration for what and how we communicate well beyond Dale Carnegie (although he has some great communication tips too). Below are some tips from a few saints, future saints, and great Catholics!

Seven Tips for Communicating Well from St. Ignatius

Rebecca Ruiz, in this succinct, well-written article, inspired the idea for my blogpost! I hope to read more of Saint Ignatius for myself, but my favorite tip of the seven that Rebecca picks out is #2: Create environments of “greater love than fear.” This tip doesn’t just work for conversation, but it resonates with my experience of working with actors. When I pick the right person for the role, and then create a safe atmosphere in which the actor can take risks and be vulnerable in his or her performance, then I invariably get a performance that is authentic.

In a classic blogpost, How To Give a Talk like Fulton Sheen, one of my favorite communicators, Brandon Vogt, shares the tips that Venerable Fulton Sheen casually offered in conversation.  Several of his tips are similar to the tips of St. Ignatius.

Saint Francis de Sales is patron of writers and journalists for many reasons. But here is a new reason for me! In his Treatise on the Love of God (Book II, Chapter IV), which I am just getting around to reading, St. Francis speaks of both Creation and the Incarnation as God communicating himself in love to us! This is foundational in communication theology, and I never expected to find it in Francis de Sales from the 18th century. Here is a short quote:

God knew from all eternity that he could make an innumerable multitude of creatures with divers perfections and qualities, to whom he might communicate himself, and considering that amongst all the different communications there was none so excellent as that of uniting himself to some created nature, in such sort that the creature might be engrafted and implanted in the divinity, and become one single person with it, his infinite goodness, which of itself and by itself tends towards communication, resolved and determined to communicate himself in this manner. So that, as eternally there is an essential communication in God by which the Father communicates all his infinite and indivisible divinity to the Son in producing him and the Father and the Son together producing the Holy Ghost communicate to him also their own singular divinity; – so this sovereign sweetness was so perfectly communicated externally to a creature, that the created nature and the divinity, retaining each of them its own properties, were notwithstanding so united together that they were but one same person.

For years I have wanted to study St. John Paul II’s applied theology of communication. Someone else has begun this work, surprisingly using Ecclesia de America as the example of John Paul’s communication. Dr. Christine Mugridge and Sr. Marie Gannon, FMA, published a curriculum text, John Paul II: Development of a Theology of Communication, which I look forward to reading. This article introduces the text, but a shorter, more accessible introduction is here:

 

My very favorite works on communication (in addition to ALL of the papal Messages for World Communications Days 1967-ongoing), are the classic texts of SVD Father Franz-Josef Eilers, which I wrote about back in a 2011 blogpost. If you are interested in pastoral communication, evangelization, the spirituality and/or theology of communication, all of his books are awesome.

And finally, of course, Pope Francis has some very practical, down-to-earth advice on communication, which I have been able to find most easily in his talks on the themes of evangelization, communication, and family life.

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Digital Catholics

Here are a few catch-up notes that are long overdue:

Best new site for Media Literacy from a Catholic perspective! Last week I posted here about the new Pauline Center for Media Literacy weekly movie reviews, which our sisters write from a Catholic perspective. But the site has more than just movie reviews, and we are adding new content all the time. Visit the new site and see how the faith we live by and the culture we live in intersect! www.bemediamindful.org

Media and Your Kids For families with kids, the CNN news site published a helpful article about young children using media: “Kids Under 9 Spending More Than 2 Hours a Day on Screens.” The article is based on a study by Common Sense Media–another favorite media literacy site that is helpful when looking at media for children. Along with this article, CNN published “New Screen Time Rules for Kids by Doctors.” The tips for “healthy digital media use” seem especially helpful, but in brief, here is what doctors recommend:

 

Doctors’ Guidelines for Screen Time for Kids

Screen time, or time spent using digital media for entertainment, should be limited.

AGE RECOMMENDED MOTIVATION
18 months and younger No exposure. Screen time can:
cause disconnect between parents and children (babies deprived of parents’ attention may develop behavioral issues)Prevent healthy brain development for infants because it limits face-to-face contactOverstimulate, which can cause distress and sleep issues
2-5 years 1 hour per day

Only high quality

No advertisements

Children at this age can’t differentiate between real-world and screen-world. In addition to high-quality programs, face-to-face interactivity onscreen (such as Skype or Facetime) is a good choice.
6 & older Limit & Monitor Screen time should never replace healthy activities (sleep, social interaction, physical activity)

Parents need to help children and teens navigate the media environment, just as they teach children how to behave off-line

Designate media-free times together (such as meals)

Designate media-free zones at home (such as bedrooms)

Set up a media plan for the family

Based on article: “New Screen Time Rules for Kids by Doctors” by Hailey Middlebrook, CNN

 

The World Congress for Child Dignity in the Digital World has made many of the speeches of the congress available here on the Congress website. The Centre for Child Protection at the Pontifical Gregorian University in Rome hosted the congress from October 3-6, 2017 .

Pope Francis offers his insights into his style as a communicator in today’s world: Pope Francis on Why He Gives Interviews. For Pope Francis, a “real meeting,” means “real conversation.” His best tip? He prays to the Holy Spirit ahead of time to inspire him with what to say.

“The truth will set you free” (John 8:32): Fake news and Journalism for Peace is the theme for the next World Communications Day on May 13, 2018. The Vatican’s Secretariat for Communication posted the theme on September 29th (the Feast of the Archangels Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel). The explanation follows:

The theme that the Holy Father Francis has chosen for the 52nd World Day of Social Communications 2018 relates to so-called “fake news”, namely baseless information that contributes to generating and nurturing a strong polarisation of opinions. It involves an often misleading distortion of facts, with possible repercussions at the level of individual and collective behaviour. In a context in which the key companies of the social web and the world of institutions and politics have started to confront this phenomenon, the Church too wishes to offer a contribution, proposing a reflection on the causes, the logic and the consequences of disinformation in the media, and helping to promote professional journalism, which always seeks the truth, and therefore a journalism of peace that promotes understanding between people. https://press.vatican.va/content/salastampa/en/bollettino/pubblico/2017/09/29/170929a.html

 

Online Evening Visit with Jesus At the conclusion of our online Facebook Live Novena to Our Lady of Fatima, Sister Kathryn and I decided that we would like to try to offer a simple Evening Visit with Jesus every night at 8 PM at the Facebook page: Ask a Catholic Nun. We are still getting it off the ground, but it’s a wonderful way to share prayer intentions and feel part of a community that prayers together every evening. I hope you can find the time to join us.

Meet the selfie-snapping Sisters of Snapchat is a fun article interviewing Catholic sisters using social media! Several #MediaNuns are included.

Superheroes: Models of Christian Virtue?

This weekend, on Salt + Light Radio Hour, I talk about two of the latest theatrical superhero film releases: Wonder Woman and Spider-Man: Homecoming. Both are a return to the lighter superhero film and more in tune with what I had come to think of as a “comic book” movie. Perhaps this is a reaction to so many recent superhero films Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Deadpool, Netflix’s The Defenders, Iron Fist, Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, and Daredevil, that are so dark and grim. Both Wonder Woman and Spider-Man: Homecoming are true superheroes, not anti-heroes, following a classic hero’s journey arc. It was also refreshing to see that both films seemed to be less violent overall, and more focused on special effects.

A Closer Look ~ Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman is a comic book movie with a strong fantasy bent—more of a fairy tale than most comic book films. A mythical past (rather than a scientific “accident”), magical powers associated with magical objects, and a “love at first sight” kind of romance. My childhood partiality for fairy tales has carried into adulthood with a strong partiality for fantasy. (If a story has a dragon, wizards, magic, and a hero(ine) with a huge handicap, I’m in!) But that is not all I found appealing about Wonder Woman: the acting is superb, the romance is an important and integrated part of the story rather than just an obligatory minor plot line thrown in for convention’s sake, the characters are interesting and appealing, and the entire story—while there are probably some loopholes—is solid, if not-too-surprising. I really enjoyed the special effects because not only was I blown away, I could follow all the action.

Wonder Woman’s warrior costume alone probably deserves a whole blogpost. Her costume is one of the reasons my mother wouldn’t let us watch the TV show when I was growing up, and I have always disliked the Wonder Woman character because of it. Unfortunately, the costume is kept in the film, but it is more tasteful than I expected. (Some day, I hope we as a culture can get beyond this kind of superhero costume that oversexualizes heroic characters.) Some references to Diana’s physical attractiveness are made; most are clearly meant to be distasteful. (A couple comments meant to be humorous I found offensive.) These comments, in addition to some splendidly awkward dialogue between character Steve Trevor and Diana, plus an implied night spent together, make the film suitable for a slightly older teen (and could also open the door for dialogue about why certain comments are disrespectful). The comic book violence focuses more on the special effects, but there is still plenty of violence.

Windows to the Soul

Two points about the film I especially appreciated. Diana Prince (aka Wonder Woman) is an amazing warrior, but she is also a woman who embraces her femininity. Wonderfully self-confident, she accepts and uses her powers, but is still very womanly. Her compassion, her passion to to “save humanity” from the violence of war—seeing war (or the god of war) as the enemy are all gifts that women can bring to the world. Diana Prince is, in many ways, a wonderful role model for girls today. (I think it is very, very cool that the first film about a superhero directed by a woman is about a female superhero, and I think Patty Jenkins’ directorial influence shows here.)

The film addresses the problem of evil head-on, not in a theological sense, but in addressing the question: “With all of the evil that human beings do, is humanity really worth being saved?” And in this sense, it is her experience of being loved, not her super-powers, that enable her to make the right choice and be true to her mission.

In her choice to see humanity in the midst of war’s depravity through the lens of love, I find that Wonder Woman is a Christ-figure. And it is this lens of love that gives a lightness to the film, even amidst the tragic circumstances. This sense of hope—that love makes everything worthwhile—is also present in the other superhero summer release, Spider-Man: Homecoming.

A Closer Look: Spider-Man: Homecoming

Like Wonder Woman, Spider-Man was a character I heard about from others, but didn’t grow up with. I became a fan with the Tobey Maguire films. (Spider-Man 2 is still, I believe, one of the best superhero movies ever made.) Like many others, I also wondered, do we really need another Spider-Man movie?

I don’t know if we needed one. But Homecoming is a light, entertaining, and worthy addition to the growing comic book movie collection, and it is better directed to its primary audience of pre-teens and teens.

With excellent acting, Homecoming is a superhero film that looks at how a superhero develops—and not just his superpowers, but how he matures as an individual to responsibly use those powers. In this film, romance is not much of a storyline, which is appropriate to a story about a teenager who has plenty of other things he needs to focus on.

Peter Parker is a super-believable and accessible character. His personal growth/hero’s journey through the film is, I think, immediately identifiable to pre-teens and teens. He is going through typical teen struggles, whose consequences are magnified by his superpowers. The plot is quite predictable (and also a bit messy in wrapping up, with three endings), but as a whole, the film is still enjoyable–especially with Tony Stark mentoring (!) the young Peter Parker.

Windows to the Soul?

In Peter’s search for his true identity and how to live it, he must “harmonize” these two very different aspects of his life: the “ordinary teenager” and the “extraordinary superhero.” The title of the film really is the theme: Peter needs to be at home with himself, and all the different aspects of himself.

In our own lives, we are called to bring together the different aspects of ourselves, especially our ordinary life with the gift of grace, or the life of God. In a time when we can feel so fragmented by a demanding world that vies for our attention and participation in a variety of roles, Peter Parker’s journey of unifying his various identities or roles into one life in which he can be most truly himself, is a journey to integrity all of us can learn from. It is not a decision or journey made in a vacuum, either: Peter’s commitment to the people of New York is his guide in his final decision. In this, Peter can also be seen as a Christ-figure—of Christ, the Good Shepherd.

Note: The PG-13 rating seemed appropriate; comic book violence and spoken sexual innuendo. There are also plenty of “in-Marvel’s-universe” jokes, from earlier Spider-Man, Iron Man, and Avengers movies.

A Question for Today’s Superheroes

In many ways, watching these two films reminds me of the times in which these superheroes were created, when Judaeo-Christian values were still mainstream and woven into many stories of the culture. As desirable as it is to have these values in both films, a “story hole” arises. Where did Peter Parker learn humility and justice tempered with compassion? Where did Diana’s conviction to guard and protect humanity come from? And where did each of them find the strength to live these virtues? If, as seems to be implied, our two superheroes lack the religious faith that creates such values as self-sacrificing love, humility, integrity, generosity, and kindness (to name a few), where do our superheroes get their values from?

While there are certainly many good people who do not have faith yet live good lives, it is also true that faith in God and God’s grace—whether known or unknown—is what gives us the strength and ability to love in a way that transcends ordinary human love. To love the betrayer, the enemy, the unworthy, the nemesis, is not always seen as an ideal any more. In today’s entertainment culture, revenge is seen as a matter of justice, and forgiveness as weakness. In watching several recent teen movies, I have been shocked by the blatant narcissism and utilitarianism of the protagonists: the happy ending is when the protagonist gets what she or he wants, no matter how they got it or who is hurt along the way. There is no recognition of moral values at all—it is what you succeed at, what you get away with, that counts. And everyone is okay with the blatant selfishness.

Yet, Peter Parker’s idea of justice is deeply Christian, as is Diana Prince’s.

It seems to me that superhero movies are successful right now in great part because they give us heroes with these kinds of virtues. On the one hand, these virtues are admirably presented as an ideal: as good, desirable, heroic. But I would also love to see more films in which these kinds of virtues are upheld, as well as positive reference to God and to the practice of faith as the source or strength of these kinds of virtues. (This is one reason I enjoy aspects of the Netflix series Daredevil—his conscience-driven behavior, qualms, and guilt, as well as his confessions and ongoing dialogue with his pastor clearly reveal his faith and his values deriving from his faith.)

The superhero is not a perfectly Christian model, yet superhero portrayals that are faithful to the spirit of the originals are deeply based in Christian virtue. I am not sure that any other culture but the 20th century Western, Christian-based culture could have created Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, or Superman as entertainment.

Is it possible to have Christian virtue without Christianity? These movies seem to say, “yes.” But as we have watched our society becoming post-Christian, we also have witnessed a troubling uprise in a blatant disregard for the importance of each human life. Christian virtue becomes much rarer when society is not built on Christianity, where Christian values and even the golden rule are no longer commonly held. Perhaps it is enough that superhero movies remind us of the ideals and virtues, attract us to them, and show us how how being Christlike—even in the face of great suffering and self-sacrifice— can transform us and the lives of others.

Pray for 10-year-old Cristy: please share!

Special Prayer Intention Through Blessed Alberione’s Intercession

Please join all the members of the Pauline Family in praying for ten-year-old Cristy Dangond, who is so beautifully witnessing to how to trust in Jesus as she continues treatment for cancer. Cristy and her family have been a beautiful witness to me during this difficult time. Cristy’s parents, Fr. Ed Riley, Fr. Mike Harrington, and all of the Daughters of St. Paul make this particular request. Her parents are members of the Pauline Family as postulants in the Holy Family Institute.

 

Christina Dangond is a young girl who was diagnosed in 2012 with a rare form of cancer when she was 6 years old. Christina is now 10 years old. She has proven through her vitality, unbreakable faith, strength and courage, that one can go through the most difficult tests in life with a beautiful smile and a supreme confidence in Jesus.

A kindred spirit to Blessed James Alberione in the desire to spread the Gospel of Jesus Master, Way, Truth and Life, Christina and Blessed James may be separated by time but are joined through eternity: One needs a miracle to live, the other a miracle to be canonized a Saint. Please join us in praying daily through the intercession of Blessed James for the miraculous cure of Christina with complete confidence in and gratitude to Almighty God the Father through Jesus Master, His only Son, in the Holy Spirit! Prayer is below. Won’t you join us!

Prayer for the Intercession of Blessed James Alberione

Founder of the Pauline Family

profileAlberione

Most Holy Trinity, who has willed to revive in the Church the apostolic Charism of St. Paul, revealing yourself in the light of the Eucharist to Blessed James Alberione, founder of the Pauline Family, grant that the presence of Christ the Master, Way, Truth and Life, may shine the world through Mary, Mother and Queen of the Apostles.

Glorify in your Church this apostle of the new evangelization, and raise up men and women open to the “signs of the times” who, following his example will use the modern means of communication to lead all of humanity to you.

Through the intercession of Blessed James grant me the grace that I ask for at this time: the complete healing of Christina Dangond from all of her cancer.

Glory to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

Thank you everyone. Praise be Jesus Christ! Now and forever! Jesus I trust in you!

Help us spread this message to everyone! 

Novena to St. John Paul II Begins…Today!

Today, as we celebrate the 100th anniversary of the last public apparition of Our Lady of Fatima (and the Miracle of the Sun), we are also celebrating Day 9 of our Novena to Our Lady of Fatima, as well as the last “official” day of our annual #MediaNuns Mission Appeal. (You can celebrate Our Lady of Fatima together this weekend as a family by watching one of the well-done films on Our Lady of Fatima–check out my list of recommendations here.) 

As you might know, we have been praying the Angelus together on Facebook Live at noon every day, as well as praying the Rosary together at 8 PM on Facebook Live. The number of people joining us in prayer has been inspiring! (Our biggest night so far was Monday, with over 16,000 views!) We’re hoping tonight will be the biggest night of all–it’s a wonderful way to thank Our Lady of Fatima for proving again what a wonderful Mother she is–not just to Jesus, but to the entire Church.

 

 

It is striking to me that the Novena to St. John Paul II begins today (9 days before his feast on October 22). For me, St. John Paul is the Pope whose devotion to Our Lady is so pronounced. His multiple (sometimes mysterious) connections with Our Lady of Fatima are everywhere, once we start looking. Father Raymond de Souza shares the highlights in his insightful and concise article here.

I have been praying often to St. John Paul II, and I probably made a novena to him before his canonization, but this year is the first time I am consciously making a novena to a canonized saint whose hand I have touched, and whose life touched mine in numerous ways. So I decided that I would write my own novena prayer, highlighting experiences that we have shared and the ways that he touched my life. I am sharing part of my personal prayer below, in the hopes that it might inspire someone else. (I have to confess that I have taken out a few of the more personal details.)

Saint Pope John Paul, thank you for the many ways that you said “yes,” to God, overcoming any fear, and giving the world both the encouragement and the witness of your words, “Do not be afraid! Open your hearts to Christ!”

You gave so many gifts to the Church: the call to the New Evangelization, your witness of prayer and union with Christ, the beautiful articulation of God’s plan for every human person in the Theology of the Body, your appreciation for beauty and the arts, your many beautiful and profound writings, your devotion to the Truth, your understanding of what it means to be a communicator for Christ and witnessing how to do it, your closeness and preferential option for youth, your surrender to God’s will in your illness.

Now from heaven, you continue to accompany the Church you led so wonderfully here on earth. You know that your homily during your Mass on the Boston Common, and your encouragement, led me to embrace my vocation. You were always a special friend of young people, encouraging them to boldly follow Christ. When I finally met you, I could see the love of God the Father for  me shining through your eyes. I told you then that I loved you, and I continue to love and trust in you as my spiritual father and guide.

Now, I trustingly turn to you once again for inspiration, guidance, and for your intercession. In your powerful prayer to Jesus our Way, Truth, and Life, intercede for the Church to courageously continue setting out “into the deep” for the New Evangelization in these challenging times where the dignity of each person, the freedom of religion, the  value of every human life, the nurturing of the family, the care of all creation, justice for those who are oppressed, and concern for the common good, are all under threat. 

In a special way, I also ask you to beg God for my personal intentions:
(mention them here)

I trust in your prayers, St. John Paul. Continue to accompany me! You inspired me to “Follow Christ” unreservedly; I am one of “your” vocations; I count on you as “my” Pope and my spiritual father! Thank you.

If you, too, are part of the John Paul II generation (or, as one of my sisters puts it, “a John Paul II groupie”), you may want to begin a novena to him in preparation for his feast on October 22nd. You can write your own prayer, as I did. You can add it to other prayers. Some of my other favorite options include:

http://totus2us.com/podcasts/novenas/novena-to-st-john-paul-ii/  (Marian focus)

and

http://www.philipkosloski.com/novena/ (with a little-known fact about St. John Paul for each day, too!)

Here, you can find the “official prayer” from the Vatican offered at St. John Paul’s canonization here (thanks to Catholic News Service for the unofficial English translation.

This novena prayer is also beautiful and is posted on the site for the Saint John Paul II National Shrine (in Washington, D.C.), which I hope to visit someday!

 

Video Challenge: Did we communicate the heart of our mission in less than 2 minutes?

October is one of my favorite months of the year. Fall colors, pumpkin-flavored everything, maple syrup, and the bittersweetness of the end of the warm weather and beginning of winter… Fall is often also a good season for movies, which is why I have a whole potpourri of movie reviews to put up. (They are half-written, but not yet complete.) If you miss my film reviews, definitely check out our Sisters’ movie review blog at: www.bemediamindful.org/reviews . (You may never come back to mine because Sr. Hosea and Sr. Nancy’s reviews are wonderful!)

This week, my days and evenings are pretty much taken up with our Mission Appeal and Novena to Our Lady of Fatima, but I wanted to share with you a new video we produced that for the Mission Appeal, which, I believe, powerfully communicates who we arefrom the perspective of those who are touched by our mission. In years past, we have found it so challenging to “capture” our  missionwhich is primarily spiritualin words, images, and videos, but I think this video does a pretty good job. I’d love to know if you agree! Please send in your feedback by voting in the poll below! (Or you can write in a comment, too!)

 

What do you think?

 

If you know someone who might be interested in participating in the New Evangelization by prayer and/or offerings for our #TheWordHeals Mission Appeal, please share the video above or one of our “broadcasts” on Facebook Live (which we are doing from Oct. 5-13, 2017):

God bless you!